a year reflected in crystal

27th August 2022

sometime on this day, in the late hours of the night, it will mark a year since i really understood my feelings for raha. they'd been growing over the course of shadowbringers, but it was 5.3, reflections in crystal, that marks exactly when i began to realize quite how much i liked him.

raha means a lot to me! he is, at this point, undoubtably my most favorite character of all time. he is comforting. he is warm. he is reassuring. he's cute in an endearingly awkward way. he makes me feel all nervous and giddy and he has depth, he has struggles, but he carries on. i love all of his positive traits and equally adore all of his negative ones. whether you choose to see him as a loyal and steadfast friend, or strange, pushy and way too obsessive, i love it all. every form of him, exarch, noah member or scion, and every interpretation of him means the world to me.

he's helped bring a lot to my life over this past year. i started drawing more again after losing passion for a bit, and have rediscovered how fun it actually was! i've learnt to take better screenshots.. mostly of him. he's helped me discover more likeminded people, and potentially friends, who take interest in what i have to say about him. he's had more practical effects too, but i'm not one to delve deeply into personal things in the middle of nowhere.
either way, i'm very thankful for (to?) him.

how would he feel were i able to tell him these sorts of things? probably embarrassed. what can i say, for someone who brings so much joy to those around him, someone who has done so much for so many, he's way too quick to shut people's compliments down and to back away from being praised. i think he deserves it though. i think he deserves the world, even if he would shrivel up upon being presented with it.

i don't have time to really do much for the ocassion, but i wanted to express my feelings somehow. i'm sure were he here, he'd understand. all that i could want is to enjoy this feeling, both now and in the future. i look forward to the next year and what it may bring.. and in a sense, getting to "share" that time with him as well.

♡ ♡ ♡